About 10 years ago i was told that i was very Irish as far as anger and stress. I allow lots of things to wind me up and, without noticing, I bottle it all up until I snap. 10 years ago this led me to shouting like a mad man over who had eaten the last jaffa cake, and last week it led me to walking out of a uni’ test, going down the pub and staying out drinking till half two in the morning. A combination of work, uni and other bits and pieces had got me into that state all mixed in with my roman catholic guilt, that I am forever carrying around. Sorry.
So here is my plan of action for making sure things don’t get on top of me:
- Give up coffee. I used to drink 3 or 4 cups of very dark coffee a day. I gave up a week ago and have finally got past the cold turkey headaches
- Exercise. I rejoined my old gym on Wednesday, did a work out yesterday, can barely move today.
- Vent my spleen. I wrote a 3 page letter to the Uni pointing out everything that was wrong with the course.
Right what else has been going on? Well last weekend I was back in brum for my Dads surprise 60th birthday party. Despite dreading it, I actually had fun. Dad really had no idea, in fact he almost walked out the bar because he could see there was a private party on, before the penny dropped. He had a smile on his face all night long. His girlfriend had organised the whole thing and you could tell she was relived that all the planning and secret phone calls was now over. Although I have met his girlfriend a few times this was the first time I had met the rest of her family, and seen how Dad was part of it. Through her he has a pseudo step son, daughter, son-in law, daughter in law and 5 amazing grandkids, who all seem to adore him. I guess part of me felt jealous, sad or even relived that Dad now had this ready made family that I could never give him. But then I remembered how shallow I am and got on with enjoying the party.
I had invited my best friends Teresa and Elizabeth (sisters) who where the only ones there who know I’m gay. Being the friends they are they did their best to make me revel my secret identity. While chatting to one of my dads work friends I could see them out of the corner of my eye, encouraging me to join in the dance routine to the YMCA. They were also there while various uncles and aunts asked if I had a girlfriend and how great it would be to have a wedding in the family. My standard reply was “why don’t you renew your vows then?”
Before I drove back the following day, I popped round to see Teresa and Elizabeth’s family, including Elizabeth’s baby daughter who had her mothers big cheeks and big eyes. She looked permanently shocked, and beautiful with it. So then it was a 4 hour drive back to brum while practicing “I don’t want to miss a thing” for the evening karaoke session back in n’castle
